I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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