Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
