Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
