and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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