Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
