Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
