I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
