His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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