Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
