This is not my ceiling
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
