if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
