thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
