There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
