In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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