what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
