I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize