I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
