Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
