Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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