Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
