There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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