I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
