Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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