Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
