Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
pray to the hookup gods
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
