how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
