people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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