I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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