he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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