glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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