Yo dont text me then not text me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
