This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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