p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
