I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can't just leave with hair like that
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
