we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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