Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
