so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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