He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
