bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
