I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
