please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As shirtless as possible
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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