youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
