guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
