i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
