question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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