This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
