i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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