i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
