god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
