Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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