i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize