i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize