This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
