I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
