The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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