i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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