actually, I'm a sock model
You're my little dorito
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
