Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
