We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
