would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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