Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
