Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
