God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
