We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
