ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
