today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
