i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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