How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
