I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
