how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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