You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
