after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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