Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize