I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
