..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
