Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
