Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize