I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is not my ceiling
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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