Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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