when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
