My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize