I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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